The new Nivea Active3, combines shampoo, body wash and shaving cream all in one bottle. Hew-yo, we holmes’s hate having bottles all over our shower, adding to the confusion and clutter of our wash space. So, with a worthy effort, the Active3 was designed to alleviate both the need to shop around for different products, pay for different products, and use different products. This is one bottle that does it all. And according to Nivea, it has some sort of “Advanced Micro Technology” that makes it work. Whatev.

Seems like a pretty good idea, right? Well, kind of.

Having tried the product–yes– it does work. You can wash your hair with it. Your body with it. You can even shave with it. But, here’s the deal. It’s how well it works that matters. You could wash yourself with dish soap if you really wanted to. And unfortunately, with exception to being a decent body wash, the Active3 falls flat. Worse, if you check out Nivea’s website, there’s a how-to on the product. A “how-to” on soap? Seriously, anything that requires a how-to before you use it is a bad idea. And Nivea, what up with the uber-gay (no offense, but it’s totally homoerotic) how-to video of the chiseled guy in the shower having a great time—with himself? Nasty, man. Anyway:

Shampoo: When shampooing, it feels weird. It’s not smooth like shampoo and after a few days, it made the scalp dry. Did it clean the hair? Yeah, but it felt like using soap, not shampoo.

Body wash: Decent, but no better than any other brand we’ve tried.

Shaving cream: Not great. It’s too soapy, doesn’t lather well and I may as well have just used soap and water. Not recommended.

Our verdict: Come on Nivea. We could have washed our hair and shaved with a regular body wash and it wouldn’t be any better or worse than the Active3. It’s a good try though, and if it came down to a choice between nothing or this stuff, we’d use it. But for now, we’ll stick with different tools for different aspects of our anatomy. Thank you very much.